Ground Zero Again!'

By Awink32276 on Mon, 01-23-12, 03:19

Posted in Group:

ADHD

I am in the process now of packing my things and leaving my heart and the life I have lived for the past 2 1/2 years. It has been the most stable relationship I've had and as usual I screwed it up by expressing uncontrolled emotions and hurting the one I loved. It's so exhausting repeating the same failures. I am 35 have struggled since 18 as a single mom. I have never been married. I can't pay bills in time,have bad credit and a messy house and car all the time. I try so hard that I don't think I can try any harder but can barely get to a level of minimal functioning for survival. I know I'm smart and I know what I am supposed to do but I can never do it the right way. I have never thought about or planned my future. I live for the moment and am full of emotion and passion. I do not have any friends or social skills. Being alone is all I've known until this relationship. Now I am Back to starting on my own. It's going to be much harder this time since I gave up my job to do school online which I have not been able to complete due to lack of concentration. He paid off my car that we sold to buy a truck which is in his name for me. I live in his house which I have never done in the past so I am starting at ground zero. The meds helped but only been in them 2 weeks and the side effects caused depression and aggression that was unfamiliar to me so I stopped them. My mind is Back to overload and I have to be able to function tomorrow to try and start over. I am so tired of trying my best yet constantly failing and hurting my loved ones. Can anyone relate to these feelings or am I just crazy?

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By marcie on Tue, 01-24-12, 16:05

You have to stop and take time to rethink and reflect about what is going on around you. Do not rush to move and ask the young man to give you few more weeks, because of this move you are overloading yourself.Do not be so hard on yourself, try to understand and comprehend how you can improve some parts of your life and slowly to change and to feel more comfortable. If you need medication and this particular one is not working, ask the doctor to change it, it is your body and only you know how you feel. Give yourself time, say a prayer and you will make the right decision. Have faith and God bless you.

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By Awink32276 on Tue, 01-24-12, 17:55

Thank you so much for the kind words. He thought about it and has not given up yet on me. It was definitely related to a medication I was trying and confirmed by a doctor so that helped him be a little more understanding. I know it was an ADHD reaction but it was amplified by the medication so on to the next trial of meds I suppose. I know there is hope but it will take Time and patience to get to a better place for me.

Awink32276

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