I know why I have trust issues, do you know why you have trust issues

my trust issues began before i even knew what trust issues were.....molested as a very young child, no love in the home (see how the perk was able to snatch me), my choices as a teen, my addictions, god and the list goes on and on. i'm much better today than i used to be but truth be tould the real work did not begin for me till i was 45 years old. so have had much to work on and little things like life happening (of the traumatic kind) getting in the way, i think god has been good to me considering my beginnings and choices along the way that were of the "ungood" kind. hurt is a part of life honey. humans hurt humans. and i''m sure you've heard "hurt people, hurt people" and the healing continues not with out its potholes along the way. looking forward to others replies, as i'm sure i can learn from them, just as i learn from you.....

Thanks Kathy for sharing of why you have trust issues, I have also learned from you. I know people hurt people, it's unfortunate part of life but it doesn't make it ok and doesn't really make me feel any better or less hut about it. I am also looking forward to other peoples replies. I really like that you use the word "ungood" also that is so true of what you said, "the healing continues but not without the potholes along the way". Thanks again Kathy, I love you so much, hugs for you! Princess

agreed hurting people is never ok nor is being hurt ok, but we have to learn ways to forgive and move on don't we? and apologize if we have done the wrong. some hurts are much tougher than others as we know.

Yah I agree but I don't know how to forgive and till I know how I really can't move on. Also for me some of these people haven't apologized and so it makes it all that much harder. Also that true that some hurt are much tougher then others. Right now I am just looking for support and words of wisdom and for people to share there stories so I don't feel so lonely so I can learn and maybe that will help me to forgive. At least I know why I have trust issues and I know where it stems from, that's the first step and I think the second is talking about it like I am right now. Love you sweet Kathy!

Princess

i hear you. and going into why ive been burned is mentally exhausting so i understand!!

Well, having your BPD mother beat, scratch, strangle, bite, spit on and hit your head against the wall helps in that department, I guess. Being told you are a sweet little angel and two seconds later you are a two-faced devil child that will go to hell as well.
Then there was sexual assault and emotional abuse by other family members.
Everything that happened after I survived my childhood, all the disappointments, weren't surprising at least, cause I expect the worst of people.
I trust myself least of all, cause I know myself, battling myself is a full-time job.
The strangest thing is that I know I can trust my Dad for always supporting me when I really need him (for example I have financial problems atm and he's always been there although he only receives a small pension), but he doesn't even understand he is abusing me emotionally so very often. He doesn't take me seriously at all, cause I think he thinks I'm a loser.
Whenever I like a guy he starts talking to me like I was a thirteen year old school kid, comes up with funny names for the guy or tells me how silly I am for liking him. On the other hand he tells me I have to finally start loving myself and how stupid I am for having an inferiority complex.
For my crushed little BPD soul all these mixex messages are HELL.
I trust my best friend, cause she's proven she can handle knowing about my condition and still sees me as a person, she validates my feelings, but won't be shy to tell me that I might overlook certain things and that helps me a lot.

Good question, btw, Princess! Always good to remember why you have trust issues and try to find a way of letting go of past hurts that we keep carrying on our shoulders even today. Though, I admit - I have no clue how to let go of that myself...most things in my life just "prove" to me that everyone is out to get me and I can't trust anyone.

Dear Mstryder, I am so incredibly sorry for what you've been through!!! You have been through alot and I don't blame you for whatever ways you feel!! I just wanted/needed to jump in and say I am sorry and that I see you and I care. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers and am here if you ever want to talk!!

itsgonnabeok, I am sorry that, you too, have suffered. Please know that you are safe here and no one is going to hurt you. I see you are new so let me say welcome to support groups! We are glad you are here. :0)

Sending you both big hugs, Suzee

My trust issues started very young. The mother figures in my life didn't stay around very long. I also moved around a lot so I didn't have continuous friendships. My dad started molesting me when I was 4 years old until I was 15.

My cousins were the only ones that were constant in my life. A lot of times they would leave me out of things or alienate me. Today it still goes on. Some because now everyone knows about the abuse. Some if the family doesn't like that I put my father in prison for 8 years. He got out last year. I struggle now with forgiving him because he will never apologize. The forgiveness is more for me than him. In the past I would forgive by telling myself that people make mistakes and I'm guilty of making mistakes. If I can forgive myself than I can forgive others. That was working for me with my dad until he got out of prison last yr. He is just so angry with me and I can't believe he thinks he has that right. I'm much more calm now but I haven't been able to totally move on but I'm trying.

I hope this helps.

Oh Suzee, thank you so much! It feels so good knowing that there are people on here that *really* care and even include me in their prayers! I'm praying for all of us on here to rise like phoenix from the ashes from our emotional challenges!
And even though these words were directed at itsgonnabeok let me just say it feel so incredible to know this really is a safe haven and I can come here meet all you wonderful human beings who actually make me dare to reach out, not just out of need but also to be there for others. :)

Mstryder, it makes me so happy to know that you can feel how caring and sincere this place is!!! There are lots of people here who truly understand and know how important it is to have a safe place to talk!! I hope you are doing well today!!!!

Big hugs, Suzee