New w/Depression, Anxiety, and ADHD-PI

By ethes on Thu, 02-23-12, 04:46

Posted in Group:

ADHD
Anxiety

New to forum site. I really dont know if anyone can help here but I really just feel the need to get it all out. Do not do so with family b/c of history of ending up feeling either like I am crazy or a big baby. Do not do so w/friends because I have none-still at 46 y/old. Im a nice person, just 'weird'. I was diagnosed with depression almost 15 yrs. ago, anxiety-a couple years after that. Was dealing with life much better but still knew inside that there was still something wrong with me. Fairly convinced with thinking I had some kind of retardation. Anyway, a couple years ago, after my youngest son was dx'd, I figured that I should get my self tested for ADHD-PI. Did not think of it before because I did not have hyperactivity.
OK, so I have been through this cycle t/o my life of almost having what I think is close to an average life and then find myself, a failure again. I.ve screwed everything up so many times, it's just sad. It affects my children and the rest of my family because I always end up having to rely on them again.
So, finally (sorry this is so long), to further explain, It starts with something embarrassing at work-again, and then anxiety w/negitive self talk and such and then I do even more embarrassing, inappropriate things like have a panic attack, the kind where I can't talk or perform, while trying to do a serious, emergent procedure with a Dr. Then, of course, I go down the depression road, don't even want to leave my house, hate myself. And I do not have support system at work b/c I always manage to distance myself and then it get's to point where every one has witnessed my weirdness, and then I feel even more alone. Again sorry for length. After 20 years of such things occurring, not really liking my career, I think I need to stop being scared of change and find a new career, one that fits me better, that I am not always feeling so inferior to coworkers and doctors. Anyway thankyou, Hope to be supportive to others later, when I dont distrust myself so much. God Bless, ethes

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By CK on Mon, 02-27-12, 08:25

Now that you have a diagnosis are you in therapy and/or on medication? Knowing what you have must be a tremendous relief, but it also offers you the oppurtunity to work in harmony with these issues, not against them or even allow them to work against you. They can both be managed and managed well through a combination of therapy and medication. A whole new you may be discovered in this process (or perhaps I should say the you that have been smothered by your ADHD and anxiety). Embrace this oppurtunity to expand your possibilities and if that includes a new job-go for it.

Work hard to establish change and do whatever is in your power to triumph over life, not simply exist in a life you no longer need to settle for.

Sometimes I believe in as many as six impossible things before breakfast-Alice in Wonderland

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